you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
