well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
