We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
