Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Randomize
