White coat. Heels.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
