im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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