Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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