If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
