Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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