Little spoons don't ask big questions
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Be still, my beating vagina.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
