I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
