I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
