I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize