my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
