best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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