just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
