Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
