Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
