so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
