PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
