just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
