did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
