if only i could text you this smell
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
