You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
