I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
