We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
