whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think I am morally bankrupt
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
