Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
