I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize