And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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