if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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