And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize