i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
