The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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