I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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