She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
