i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
