jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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