DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Randomize
