I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
