Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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