someone get that fucking seahorse.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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