You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
