I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
