I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
it's like iHOP with fire
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize