my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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