Your dad touched me again.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
