butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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