I just pynch a tree in the face
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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