Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
