Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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