Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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