I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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