So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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