:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't turn off my feet"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
