whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
