"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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