He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
