Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
