$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
