his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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