i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
