I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
