There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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