She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i think my cat just said my name.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
