this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
