I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
