it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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