I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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