So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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