i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
