She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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