Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
