What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
