like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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