it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
