She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
